Wonder wall

 Oasis 

Today is gonna be the day

That they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now.

In December of 1990, I was 34 yrs old and attended my first self actualization seminar and it change the course of my life forever. The following years have been full of change and exploration. In the beginning many of my friends, family and loved ones questioned my life’s decisions; broken marriage, closed businesses, modest accommodation, and transportation. Gradually I became more isolated, recluse in a vineyards  converted tool shed. I had given up everything that I had believed defined me and now I was alone with only my thoughts and dreams to keep me company. 

In March of 1996 I boarded a Garuda air bus at LAX with a one way ticket to Bali Indonesia. My mind was right, my ship had sailed. I was trading my life of bondage to a life of exploration and adventure. 20+ hours later I  arrived in a new land, with my back packs, guide book and a heart full of faith. 

Over the next few days I discovered a smaller island called Gili Trawangan, it’s total land mass is less than 6 sq miles. GT offered white sand beaches, crystal clear blue water, coral reef, and cool sea breezes As I lay basking in the warm sunshine, I felt validated. Finally my dream was becoming a reality and I wished the people who thought they knew me could understand why I chose to change.  

Reality is harsh, I had a skint amount of cash and I did not know how I would survive. I only had faith and a desire to stay on this amazing journey.  I embraced the belief that I can be who I choose to be and I can love and understand me more than anyone else. The song Wonder Wall speakers to me. 

My message today is dream your dreams, be fearless and walk in faith.

Slow down and make the moment last

 Last night I was enjoying my L&G meal. Knowing it is my only whole food meal in my day,  I consciously made an effort to savor each bite which resulted in placing my fork on the plate while I chewed all the flavors I could savor from each morsel. 

As I reached yo replenish  my fork, the image of the flat wear resting on a plate full of food, struck me odd. I wondered when was the last time I slowed down and truly enjoy all the flavors of my food? I honestly don’t remember when or why I began racing through my meals as if I was being timed with a stop watch but somewhere in my youth the seed to rush through meals and move on to other activities was planted. 

In my circle of friends inviting one another out for a meal is common practice and we all seem to eat at the same pace. I can think of only two exceptions; an Italian family where having an evening meal will be hours of consuming multiple courses of food and many types of beverage. Ciao Vito and Belinda I love you. The other exception to the norm is a soft spoken, well educated gentleman named Ray.  He stands tall at 6’3”, is slight in build, weighing in at a maximum of 175lb and he has to be the slowest eater I have ever known! Typically I’m ordering dessert while he is still forking his salad. To exasperate this situation Ray will order appetizers, main dish, sides and dessert!  The rest of us laugh about how awkward it is to sit and watch Ray finish his meal as he methodically masticates his greens and leans.  

I had an occasion to ask him about his prolonged eating habit and if he actually chewed each bite 60 times? I was surprised by his answer. Ray acknowledged that he is a slow eater and that chewing his food thoroughly is good for his digestive system but another reason he savored his meals was because the Biblical taught him to.  This information regarding the Bible was news to me so i looked it up and sure enough there is an interpretation of Joshua1:8 in the new international version bible that references chewing food and contemplation. 

I’m not known as a religious man however I am spiritual and if seeing an empty fork resting on a full plate of food is Gods way of telling me to keep meditating about what I nourish myself with then I’ll happily accept and hear that message. 

Jelly Belly

 Where,What,When,why and How.

Fat Man in Paradise (FMP) has been down this road before. I dropped more than 100lb and I’ve managed to keep 50lb of that off for more than a decade. FMP never reached the target weight so I’m undertaking this final journey which in many ways is a road less traveled.  

Living fat is more than what a scale reads. Different cultures view fatness  differently. In a part of Africa “FAT” 

is viewed as beautiful and slim girls are force fed gourds of milk before their weddings to become obese beautiful brides.  As a child i loved playing in the summer heat, shirtless until the chant of Jelly Belly from neighborhood kids caused me to become embarrassed and self conscious. When i was 39 yrs old weighing 285lb part of my program was walking and jogging through villages in Bali. the locals would stop what they were doing to point fingers and yell big man, big belly. In Thailand being thin is associated with prosperity consequently it is common to hear people calling each other fat over the slightest weight gain. It takes a tough mindedness to live Fat. shaming is real, the hurt is painful, the emotional baggage is heavy. 

I opened “the your life book “ that came with this program. I turned to the introduction where I saw two blank pages and in an instant I had an epiphany. This will be my last shot. I’m too old to do this again and with that realization I became inspired. I put pen to paper and thoughts flowed. I was writing my bucket list. I could see clearly in my minds eye exactly who I want to become, what I want to do and how I will accomplish my goals. I saw where I want to go and what I want to do and be. I was writing my future and my ending. I was compelled to write my Declaration of Independence and take ownership of my dreams and ambitions. I reclaimed my purpose of life. 

We are all blessed with the opportunity to choose our  life’s path and it all begins with the first step. 

I want to love my body with the unconditional love I felt when I was perfect and fresh from the womb. I will never allow myself to be embarrassed by my body. I will always love myself and stay connected  with the happy shirtless kid also known as jelly belly. 

The ultimate Tweak

 Today is my official start day.  Photos and food is the order of business today. I am pleasantly surprised with how satisfying the powdered drink is and the lemon zest bar was delicious. I followed that with a small bag of jalapeños flavored puff ball. I went off program when I lost track of time while I prepped  my first lean and green meal so I ate a power bar and am watching the clock until I enjoy my first Lean and Green creation; air fried chicken breast rolls stuffed with an almond, balsamic vinegar, garlic, mayo, siracha paste. Steamed Shrimp with steamed broccoli, cauliflower, red, and yellow bell peppers. It was delicious and filling.

Embracing my best being

 My thoughts go to where I want to be rather than how I will arrive. Fat Man in Paradise has made this trip several times before; it is not the road less traveled for me however this time my desire is to connect with my most perfect physical self and nurture that inner being until I transition into Thin Man in Paradise and this is the question. Am I able to change the paradigm that has served me and created my personality.  How do I create change within my core belief system and know how to be me? Who am I? How will I know when I have met the inner spirit I am searching for? I understand this is metaphysical and logic tells me, I am who I am yet that is not satisfying my thirst for clarity. 

Know What Fits.

 

After six months of experimenting and trying to adapt to new routines my body has spoken and it has made it unmistakably clear; get back to what I know and leave all the play time for the children. I have been a bad boy and have not been in control of my behavior.  The results have not been pretty; I have added weight on top of previously unwanted gained weight and I am fitting comfortably into clothes that were ear marked for the rubbish bin 7 months ago. 

fit

+ 20kg/44lb

Fat up 35kg/77lb

Why do I allow myself to neglect and lose focus and negate all the physical fitness I worked so hard to attain?   The truth is I do not have a good answer, other than I am in denial and believe that I can behave and eat the same as those who have no issues with food and weight control.

I have learned is what I am able do when I go to a gym as well as what I want from a fitness center.

Want list for a health club:

basic is best for me

Sauna:  I have written before about my affection for saunas and how the heat helps me clear my head; there is simply no substitute for muscle piercing bone soothing heat.

 the hot box

Room to move:  I also like to have the space to stretch, roll and curl without worry of injuring or being harmed by others.  The worry of being stepped on or causing accidents with others is unnerving and keeps me from being able to mentally tune into my movements.

classes on the hr

Classes:   I have never been a joiner and participating in group fitness classes is an emotional and spiritual expansion away from my comfort zone that I want to explore.

Iron

Free weights:  training with free weights is the closest I have come to being one with myself. The personal power of pushing and pulling dead weight until I fail leaves me feeling drained and accelerated at the same time.

Boxing bags:  without question there is real therapy and stress release in feeling the jolt from the impact of jabs, hooks, crosses, upper cuts and elbows connecting to stuffed leather.  It never fails to amaze me at how primal I feel when I am punching bags.

 A Beach view with access:   It takes me a minimum of four hours to complete my total body routine and no matter how hard I try I cannot get consistent physical and mental results from less time.  I need a view if I am going to spend half my day in a gym.  I am inspired by the fluidity of white caps rumbling from sea to shore.

Accepting the Commitment

Being in a constant state of training is not an easy way of living yet it is what I have chosen to do for the better part of 2 decades.  The insanity of yo-yoing will stop only after I finally accept that exercising is my way of life and not something I will never get past.  I must do extensive gym time or my body reverts; the weight comes back, the pains return, the muscles get weak and I stop moving.

2013 is here and I am now a member of 3 very different training facilities and training 3 to 5 hrs a day 3 to 5 days a week.  I am feeling stronger, slimmer, mentally clearer, emotionally satisfied and over all just plain better. 

Find what fits for you and accept it as your way of life.

Go have some fun,

Geo

The Team is Better When You Carry the Ball.

Team work begins from within

Phoenix

I was trying to motivate my youngest to feel worthy of taking a lead role when he is playing basketball.  He harbors negatives feelings of inadequacies from his first days of playing soccer just a short while ago.  My challenge is in trying to explain to him that he is normal and special in the same breath.  It is true, he is normal; very few children can play any game for the first time and be as good as those who have been playing for years.  He is special because he is willing to put his best effort forward and does not quit.

The Heat

  In basketball he has assets that were not important in soccer; he is tall and has very good eye hand coordination.  I explained to him that in team sports every player counts and team mates depend on each other for support and to take the lead.  I pleaded with him to believe that the team would be better if he led and did what he knows how to do; dominate under the basket and put the ball in the hoop.

practice, practice, practice, honesty

While I was presenting all my inspirational talking points to get my child to take the lead, I realized that motivating my child is not much different than inspiring myself. 

In need of a good talking too.

Relationships whether they are personal or professional require team work, to be successful.  The whole does better when the group works towards a common goal. Every team has a Captain and every team member is able to lead. 

Dr. D. our team leader

Overcoming Fear:

Successful relationships develop a symbiotic synchronization and rhythm that is more energetic than rational.    The greater picture of possibility becomes the focal point of life’s journey.  Rationalizing the big picture of possibility is no small task; it is always questionable how unique any original thought is. Accepting and working within the boundaries of what is presented as truth and the way things must be is always easier than being a trail blazer. The road less traveled is the path forged by our unique definition of joy and happiness.  Fear of the unknown is what paralyzes and stifles personal growth and exploration.

accept myself and joy is mine

Developing the team from within:  

Being an explorer and living life to its fullest requires best health and fitness.   There is a large body of knowledge that believes developed human beings consist of 10 separate bands, which work together in synchronization and rhythm to facilitate a harmonic life.

Three primary bodies of influence:

The energetic body/ magnetic personality: is a halo of energy that encompasses our physical body.  In a healthy person it is an undeniable positive energy that touches others and draws constructive forces to us.

The aura is weakened by:

·         Poor diet

·         Lack of exercise

·         Lack of fresh air

·         Lack of rest

·         Stress

·         Alcohol, drugs and tobacco

·         Negative behavior

The physical body/fit physique: This is also known as our 5^th body in Kundalini yoga and is what we see in the mirror; it feels, smells, hears and taste.  It jumps, laughs, eats and drinks and allows us to live the physical experience.   The physical body is weakened in the same manner as our Aura.

popee in development

The Memory Body/mind, body, spirit: is considered the blueprint to our existence; the energetic expression of our holistic being. This is where all physical, mental, and emotional data that comes from life experiences and genetic heritage is stored along with the subconscious mind.

Phoenix

Team Work:

No matter what the situation we are always a team within ourselves and that team is better when we are at our best.  Often times when people suffer from addictive personality traits, the root cause can be found in the blue print of our existence.  Our subconscious directs us to follow old routes that take us to where we do not want to be; if we are going to change our pattern of behavior it will require an extra effort.  We must understand that we are laying new trails without a familiar map to follow; we are creating a new positive page for our life blue print.   A healthy living pattern rewards us quickly with more strengths, potential and constructive energy.  Our energetic body radiates a healthy outlook and draws upbeat energy to us and those around us.  Life becomes fun, adventures and more meaningful.  Our relationships improve in all areas of life, when we take control of our self.  Do what’s best for the team and lead.

 

Go have some

Geo