Is it What I Do or What I Think That Defines Me?

I'm back

I just returned from one of the best family holidays I can remember having.  Popee, Phoenix, D and I went to the North East of Thailand; a place we had never been.  The tourist attractions included vineyards, a 7000 acre cattle ranch with steak house and tour, an adventure park with paint ball, zip line, ATV, bumper boats, go carts, mechanical bulls and horseback riding.

The B Boys

The Boys always enjoy adventure outings, I cannot say the same is true for me; I typically go through a three phase mental process for these types of excursions.

a.      Do I really want to do this

b.      I must be a good parent and do the things I do not want to do.

c.       I am looking forward to the day the boys are adult enough to leave me out of these things.

I think it would be an understatement to say that I was in need of an attitude adjustment. 

In all fairness there was a reason for me not being excited about going to amusement parks; my weight.  I was a Fat Man in Paradise where most people weigh under 100kg/220lb; I was too fat to be allowed on the majority of the rides or activities which basically meant I was left on the side lines watching rather than participating. 

This time was different for a couple of reasons;

a.      I followed my own advice and made sure to be present and appreciate every little detail and wonderment that is Mother Nature, love and family.

b.      My weight is down enough for me to participate and I did.

A few blogs ago I wrote that I am so focused that I cannot see and ever since then I have made a conscious effort to slow down and open my eyes.  The results have been remarkable; I am seeing things for the first time that I have passed by a hundreds of times before without noticing.  The world has turned from blur to a colorful potpourri of fragrance, sculptures, colures and life.

beauty

I am the same person and having a completely different experience; one guy is a miserable cuss and the other is a Dad have a blast.  What I do does define me but so does the way I think about what I am doing.   In my opinion the way I think and the things I do are like Siamese twins joined at the hip and impossible to separate.

Another wonderful day in paradise

Life is an adventure; the world is an oyster just waiting to be shucked.  Days start fresh and full of gifts; the smell of fresh coffee brewing in the morning, the cymbals of love ringing in the kitchen as breakfast is being prepared.  Birds singing, flowers blooming, and golden rays of sun shine glimmering off the dew drenched blades of grass that cushion my steps as I stroll through the garden.

pure happiness

In my opinion too much time is spent planning for the day to have fun; there is no need to plan; fun is in a smile, a kind gesture to someone in need, an encouraging word, a pleasant thought, a found memory, a laugh and a feeling of appreciation.  Happiness is a state of mind; it is not about doing but about being.

just taking it in

There is a personal responsibility if life is to be lived to it’s fullest; personal fitness and healthy habits.   I am guilty of not doing either and proud to say that I am doing both.  I smoke and I stop. I eat unhealthy empty carbohydrates and Trans fats and enjoy balanced green, leafy, colorful, wholesome foods.  Being conscious of my behavior has allowed me to participate more in the joy of life.   I am a Fat Man in Paradise and still learning what it means to be happy.

Go have some fun

Geo

My best friend, soul mate and partner

Live well and be happy

अच्छी तरह से रहते हैं और खुश रहो

Hindi

Sugar and Spice

sugar and spice

I recently participated in an advanced 5 day Thai cooking course.  It was a great experience and the one technique I learned during the cooking process is the taste test.  I was impressed by how often bitter can be turned to delicious with a pinch of sugar or bland can become pungent with a splash of sour.

I find it interesting that daily living is not dissimilar to preparing food.  Life has its way of being sweet and serving a dish that is a bit sour.  Greatness is determined in how I treat the bitterness and make the day sweet.

A few years ago I was doing daily walks with my son; to drop my weight down from morbid obesity.  My son was three years old and I was his sitter so I bought a baby tram from a bicycle shop, it was made to roll easily in all terrains and it did; we had three courses that took us through coconut groves, down on the beach, through the bush, over hills and around the villages.  Our morning walks were a ritual.

A year passed, I was down 50kg/110lb and on the outside I was looking slim and fit.  I was feeling pretty good about myself but the extreme weight loss had me feeling unstable on my feet, I felt a bit like a new born colt; wobbly. 

Life was sweet; it looked like I was on track, I was training to run a marathon in the UK and I had opened a school for the international community that was growing faster than I could have hoped.   

The 13^th of December 2003, I took a fall that changed my plans for good.  I grew up playing sports; by the time I was 14 yrs old my ankles had been sprained so many times they felt like glass yet I had never felt the severity of the sprain I encountered that unlucky 13^th day.  The swelling was in my toes; the tip of my foot was deep purple, and ballooning with blood. The pressure from the inflammation was an excruciating pain that had me wishing I could amputate my foot if it would relieve the pulsating, torture.  It was the worst damage I had ever experienced from a sprain.  The result was nerve damage along with an arch that will never be the same.  My dream of running a marathon was shattered.

The bitter reality that my reckless behavior had brought this misfortune into my life only made matters worse, I felt guilty, childish, stupid and fragile.  I wanted to run, I needed to move and sweat my frustration away and I was stuck on my back, immobile and no longer agile.  I was 47 yrs old being forced to come to terms with my physical inadequacies and aging body; I was not happy.

Life had served me a plate of sour mash and I knew it was up to me to make it sweet but I couldn’t; it felt good being miserable, uninspired, victimized, helpless and hopeless.  I knew if I laid back and quit it did not matter, no one cared and life would move on without me and it did.  My friends and family recipe for dealing with quitters, victims or people on a pity pot is to ignore them, they made it very clear to me that no one would worry about me if I didn’t care about myself.

rebuild

I was at a cross roads that would determine the path of my transition into the middle ages; I was going to allow myself to be an old broken man or I was going to forgive myself for beings stupid, rehabilitate my injuries and make myself stronger and better in the process.   I made the choice to rebuild, rehab and rejuvenate and a few months later I was empowered with a new baby boy Phoenix.

feeling lucky?

We will always have times when life is a challenge and it is at those times when we must open our hearts and our souls to all that is good and accept our own greatness, roll up our sleeves, put on our boots and open a can of kick ass.

Go have some fun,

Geo.

Road Warrior

Be happy and healthy

Να είστε ευτυχισμένοι και υγιείς

Greek

Friend or Enabler

Phoenix eating Miso soup; his favorite

Umm, the aromas of fresh garlic, basil and oregano lingering in my kitchen, tantalizing my taste buds and conjuring up images of good buddies laughing and drinking the night away.  I love to dine with friends, for me; there is nothing better than socializing over a good meal.  

Big eater

My eating style today is a fusion of Asian and Western; everyone samples the variety of dishes served and orders individual main entrees.  Eating this way I can enjoy a wide range of plates and not overeat. I am happy to visit any type of restaurant; Vietnamese, Thai, Korean, Chinese, Mediterranean, French, Ethiopian, Lebanese, Moroccan, Swedish, Dutch and Japanese; their all good and Italian is my first choice.

Multi Nationals

A quality meal for me will have my favorite pasta, chicken, fish, salad and dessert.  I love Fettuccine Pescadores; the combination of fresh crab, calamari and shrimp in tomato and white wine is sensual.   Pasta is amazing; short tubes like Penne that is used in Vesuvio, a spicy dish with hot chili, bacon, onion, tomato and basil is perfect in size and texture.  Spaghetti used in Carbonara with its creamy bacon and onion sauce, offers a completely different palatable pleasure.  My favorite main dish is Chicken Coriander, a simple dish of chicken and spice; turmeric, pepper, coriander, garlic and lime juice.  The thin, wood oven pizzas are excellent starters.  My number one dessert is Tiramisu; a coco powdered cream cheese, rum, coffee cake that goes seamlessly with cognac and espresso

good meals in Bali

When I Go to dinner with friends that enjoy dining as much as I do the meal will consume the entire evening, we may sit down at 7:00 p.m. and close the restaurant well after midnight.  Pizza, pasta, meat, fish, soup, salad, cheese, fruit and alcohol can add up to as much as 3,000 or 4000 calories.

Vito, Belinda and Lee they know food.

I have found that when I participate in outings of this sort I don’t eat much more than 2,000 calories including wine and alcohol.  These happenings are more about sharing quality time with close friends.  The meal is healthy, fresh and balanced and as long as I watch my quantities I walk away from the table with no weight gain.

J. my crazy dutchman

I have another type of friend that I dine with; typically we are kindred spirits in weight and size. We are big people with big appetites.  When I eat with this group of friends, there is very little talking, the mission at hand is to consume mass quantities of food; the last time I ate out with this gang we were asked to leave the Chinese buffet.  I still remember the owner screaming: “You go now! You eat too much food!” Good times and good fun and In all honesty, thankfully I do not remember the last time I ate like that; it is a thing of the past.

Sunday brunch

There is one friend that has always been my best friend to eat with, we sneak into the kitchen late at night, being careful to not get caught and raid the refrigerator.  We go to fast food joints and order more food than any one person should eat and hide in the car as we consume every last bite and sometimes go back for more.   I really love this guy; he always knows what I am craving and helps me satisfy my urges and I also hate this man. He is my demon, he is my enabler and he doesn’t stop me from stuffing myself full of garbage and I cannot live without him; he is me. .  I love to eat and I love to dine out with my friends and loved ones, this will never change.  The way I eat and what I eat has changed and I am better for it.   

success grilled, fried, mashed, and fresh

At the end of the day it is easy to place blame on situation and circumstance and it does not make things any better.  There is only one person responsible for me, there is only one person I can blame, and there is only one person I can hold accountable for my success and failures; myself.   As a Fat Man in Paradise I made a commitment to be my best friend and enabler to a healthy long life and I am better for it. 

1st male child, 1st born in USA, 1st born in Thailand

Go have some fun,

A Meal

Geo

 Be happy and healthy

Bądź szczęśliwa i zdrowa

Polish

I Am so Focused I Do Not See

Popee

One of the issues of living on an island is getting transportation off;  Koh Samui is too great a distance from the mainland for a bridge and too near to fly consequently short trips to Surathani; the county seat,  means using the car ferry. 

D and Tingyu at samui look out

When we first moved here there were no large grocery suppliers or department stores on the island hence traveling to the mainland was a necessity that we scheduled once a month. I always viewed these excursions as a throwback to simpler times in history when farmers went to town for supplies; when neighbors worked together to keep each other’s families in stock.  Voyagers rarely returned from Surathani without a towering load of staples and luxuries such as toys, paper products; toilet paper, dry goods, reading material and other hard to find items.   There was no reserved seating or presale ticketing for the ferry hence the only way to insure a spot on the boat was to leave ones vehicle in line overnight and hitch a ride around 4:00am to catch the 5:00 a.m. departure. It was insane but it was an adventure.

magic garden samui

The situation has improved considerably since those days back in 2000.  Today there are two ferry companies with vessels departing every hour and a reservation system is in place so it is now easy to manage time.  Sometimes I will get an impulse to travel; go to the ferry port and drive directly on board which would have been considered a miracle in the past.  The system is reliable enough for my taste; to have taken the adventure out of the journey. 

Dom and Tingyu

I am preparing to leave for India later this month which means I had to make a quick day trip to Surathani for visa work. Typically during these 2 hour voyages, I sit in my vehicle, sleep, work on my projects or listen to music. I rarely go up on the pedestrian deck for anything other than a toilet break or a cup of coffee. 

phoenix flying on the deck

This trip was different, I decided to take a stroll; it was the 7:00 am ferry, the sun was just warming up and the morning air was cool and fresh. The ship was cutting smoothly through the water so rather than returning to my car; I took a seat next to the rail and looked at the world around me.  As I sat feeling the warm golden rays and enjoying the salt water fragrance carried by a cool misty sea breeze.  I opened my eyes and looked to the horizon. The scenery was beautiful; a chain of granite and green islands, sea life, and colorful fishing boats.  I felt foolish for allowing myself to fall into a pattern of being so focused on what will be that I have been ignoring what is.

I have a friend on Face book, she is grandmother, a wife and a homemaker; she has a full and busy life.  I enjoy reading her post because she trends to give a weather report from Mid America; where I was born and raised.  No matter what is happening in her life she is able to look out of doors and see the beauty.   If it is sunny she will sit on the porch and enjoy the sun.  If it is cloudy she will enjoy the warmth of her home and appreciate the color grey.  She is a woman of faith and believes in God; she sees every day and passes no judgment.  She accepts each day as it is and sees it as a gift to be appreciated and enjoyed.

Dom, Tingyu, and Popee

In the past I have written on the subject of rules to live by.  Stop and smell the roses are one of those rules.   I receive a great deal of joy from taking the time to enjoy a flowers essence and hearing the laughter of people at play.   After this ferry ride I realize I only enjoy the world when I choose.   Looking towards what will be and ignoring what is, equates to looking at a closed door.  That night D and I brought the boys together and we all looked at photo albums; it was a feel good night.  

 Keeping my eyes open is what makes staying focused worth the effort.

Go have some fun,

Geo

幸せで健康である

      

The Truth Can Be Bitter Medicine.

Home

I am in a situation that I do not enjoy.  I am stuck at a weight that I do not want and I am heavier than I deserve to be.    I have written quite a bit about my culinary delights and weight management during my trip to the USA in October and November of 2011.  I have not shared my feelings of frustration with weight management prior to my departure or since my return. 

fat man

In July of 2010 I hit a 12 month milestone and was down from 152kg/334lb to 97kg/ 213lb.  dropping 55kg/121lb which is an average weekly drop of 1.05kg/2.33lb.  I was pleased with my numbers and had my eye on my ultimate goal of 80kg/176lb.  However there was an area of discontent; during the whole process of downsizing I was convinced that by weight training my physical appearance would be toned and muscular when the pounds were shed.  One year later with an average daily gym time of more than 3hrs per day I was not close to being in the physical condition I had imagined or foreseen.   To add icing to the cake, I hit a plateau and it seemed no matter how many hrs I spent in the gym I was on hold at 97kg. 

with my little guy at the gym

Up to this point in time I had controlled my weight 100% by food and exercise.  I dabbled with vegan meal plans, high protein menus, eating small portions every 2 hrs, eliminating rice, pasta, and bread.  Eating copious amounts of papaya and muesli fruit shakes introduced myself to tofu with vegetables and quinoa and became a big fan of raw tuna, grilled mackerel, and salad bars. I snacked on cottage cheese with raisins and an occasional snicker bar.  The entire process of dropping weight was with the intention of never needing to give up or eliminate my pleasure foods; red meat, pork, chicken, whiskey, wine or beer. It was my intention to prove that with portion control and exercise anyone can control their weight, eat what they like and be fit.

young and lean

To a point I guess one could say my program was a success but I wanted more, I wanted bulk, I wanted muscles, I wanted results and I wanted to be cut and lean the way I believed 3 to 5 hours in the gym would produce.   The body builders here have their favorite pharmacy so I paid it a visit and I asked the pharmacist about steroids.  I was given a quick lesson on stacking and the drugs purpose and the advantages of Human Growth Hormones.  I went on line and studied the various options and decided that I would use the steroid that would repair my damaged muscles and give me strength.  I was not ready to stack i.e. different types of steroids at the same time for bulking and power.  I did a 45 day course of steroids, and introduced whey protein to my menu.  After 6 weeks I had not lost any more weight as a matter of fact I had gained 6kg. /13lb.  The experiment was a failure.  I stopped using the steroid but have continued using whey as a source of protein and am happy using it as a supplement.

Time management is also an important part of my program and I accepted that the average person could not dedicate more than 60 to 90 minutes per day in a gym consequently I dropped my gym time to an average of 60 minutes per day and was able to maintain my weight.  Since I returned from my holiday in the USA in mid November I have gained an additional 6kg. /13lb. It is bewildering because I am eating fewer calories and by all accounts should be dropping pounds or holding steady, defiantly not gaining.

At the end of the day, it is not, how much I eat as much as it is what I eat.  Since November I have been consuming empty carbohydrates and fried foods on a daily basis.  I have been unable to get my fat intake below my protein consumption and I have indulged in far too much whiskey and chocolate.   I don’t think it can be any more obvious what I need to do to get back on track.  I must be conscious of what I eat and mentally it is a bitter pill to swallow.

Go have some fun,

Nothing better than family time

Geo

yemek ve mutlu olmak dikkatli seçin

 

The Magic of Believing

lets get stoned

In December of 1990 I made the decision to examine my belief system.  I wanted to know what I believed in.  Since then I have explored worlds beyond my comprehension.

A God

Bali Indonesia is considered the island of Gods.  There are so many gods to pray to; islanders are worshiping 24/7.  They make offerings to automobiles as weapons of destruction; the stove, the phone, the computer, and the entrance to all structures.   The Balinese are a very spiritual people and their preying creates a unique and extraordinary energy. 

Balinese God Garuda

Animists believe plants, tools, and rocks have souls.  They suppose that all things are connected by a life force.  Some of the Balinese high priests, also known as witch doctors are quite famous healers with followers from around the world waiting in line to be cured of a wide spectrum of ailments; dislocated bones, broken spirits, and evil spells. 

fake turquoise

The American Indians have Shamans who are also famous healers.  The Navajo medicine man will use petrified wood and earth stones as part of their healing ritual.  The Western territory of the USA has some of the world largest deposits of turquoise which is believed to possess highly spiritual powers.

a good feel

I have to confess I was a skeptic in the influence of stones and crystals.  In my travels I have witnessed too many healing miracles to be a non believer today.   I am an advocate and I believe that there is a stone for whatever ails me.

I am getting close

The following is a short list of common healing stones.

1.       Amethyst: good for the body, mind and spirit and protects against negative energies.

2.       Amber:  Transmutes negative energy to positive energy.

3.       Diamond: Purifies. Enhances thoughts and feeling both positive and negative.

4.       Hematite: Grounding, clear thought, improves memory and calms anxiety.

5.       Lapis Lazuli: Opens the third eye and leads to enlightenment and deep wisdom.

6.       Moon stone: Balances yin and yang energy.

7.       Opal: Enhances emotion, insight and spontaneity.

8.       Quartz Crystal: Attracts, amplifies and sends energy. Good for all types of healing.

9.       Rose Quartz: Balances yin and Yang and restores harmony.

10.   Turquoise: Highly spiritual and grounding, unconditional love and energy alignment

My fathers rosery

my prayer rope

I typically do not wear any form of jewelry or watch.  In my youth I wore a gold crucifix as my talisman and I believed it protected me and brought me good luck. Recently I was feeling a bit off center and in need of some magic so I drew from the knowledge of witch doctors and went stone hunting.

                                                                                   Amethyst, Lapis Lazuli, Hematite
The objective of this prescription is to give me total health, fight off negativity and open my mind to greater vision and spirituality while staying calm, collected and grounded with an improved memory.

wears easy and keeps me grounded

My wife is a physician in traditional medicine and is not a big fan of alternative medicines so she sat back and watched with amusement as I wondered around from stall to stall searching for stones that I felt had the right energy.   This outing took a considerable amount of time and after I had collected what I was looking for I went to a shop, designed a pattern and had the prescription strung.  When the rope was assembled I was quite pleased with the simplicity of the look and feel.  I had no great expectation and my objective was to give myself an edge if I could.  When I slipped the rope over my head I was amazed; the power that was coming from the strand was staggering, I felt an active energy and my palms turned flush with color.   I asked the wife if I looked different, she smiled back and replied: happy.

a few charms from my father

At the end of the day, any form of amulet that gives us focus and helps in making us believe we have the strength to follow and make our dreams come true, in my opinion is good medicine.  I like getting stoned and look forward to many more years of stoned bliss.

Go have some fun,

Geo.

Be happy and healthy