Field of Dreams

the untouchables

I left Thailand a couple of weeks ago and it feels like I have been going  nonstop since arriving in LA.;  14 hour days have become normal and in the process my perception has blurred. Once again I am so focused I cannot see.

time to stop and smell the roses

Memorial weekend in the USA has arrived and I have made the conscious decision to take a break with my son who lives just outside of Savannah Ga.  He lives on a military base and his home is next to a football field and a base ball park. I took a stroll to get a feel of the Georgia air and found myself standing at the fence of the gridiron. The grass was cut and green.  The spectator stands flanked the left and right and the uprights butted each end zone the scene touched my emotions and brought back many memories. 

lifes memories are spun like web

The arena was empty and the only person present was me and for a moment in my mind’s eye the stands filled with cajoling fans; parents and students all rooting for the home team.  The cheer leaders danced and shook their pomp pomes and for an instant I was there; 40 some years earlier and I feeling the thrill of being number 74. I was wearing the armor that made me invincible; cleats, over sized shoulder pads, hip, knee and thigh pads,  I was ready for war and ready to lose and I remembered what it was to be a gladiator.

The strong survive

Still feeling a bit high and walking with pep in my step I strolled over to the baseball diamond.  The dug outs were empty but the wood planks were waiting to be warmed. The bases were set, the batters plate was white and the batter’s box was in need of painting.  I took my place by the plate and surveyed the field; everyone was present; the pitcher was on the mound, the fielders were in making noise and the bases were empty.  I was at the plate, waiting to spank the white orbital sphere of glory. Oh what a feeling, I was 12 yrs old and able to do whatever physical feat I challenged my body to do.

 The Quandary.

 Why after knowing the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat do I allow myself to self destruct?

A binge

I am a rational man yet my behavior far too often is irrational and being emotionally connected to food is not healthy; eating comforts me and leads to binging.

Binging undoes all the good work I have done and simply puts me back where I started.  When I binge I am a dog chasing its tail. During the day I make all the right moves, train, control my portions, make smart choices and am on the path to progress only to side step with poor choices and lose control of all rational thinking in the evening hours; eat and drink until I cannot ingest another bite or sip.  The binge undoes all my good work and effort. 

on the rocks

A new day begins, I look at the fallout from the night before and I feel disgust, shame, confused and betrayed.  I am bewildered, why, why, why, how, how, how?  How can I allow myself to lose control?  Why after more than a decade of working on myself do I still struggle with my behavior?  I know what is good and right yet I continue to make false choices.

Can start fresh

The Reprieve

Every new dawn offers new opportunities to work the program and recommit to doing the things I should and staying away from doing the things I shouldn’t.  Each day offers the resolve to be a champion of my own cause and most days I am on point and some days I am not.  In the end as long as I stay aware of my strengths and weaknesses the good days will outnumber the bad and progress will be made.

the good days begin to multiply

Go have some fun

Geo.

fare scelte intelligenti

Fat Man in Paradise Turns One

Empire state building

Twelve years ago I decided I would write my great novel.  I enrolled in an on line writing course and learned all about writing:

1.      Query letter

2.      Synopsis

3.      Word Count

4.      Genre 

5.      Character development

Most importantly I learned

1.      To never send my writings to be reviewed as an attachment,

2.      To make sure all scripts were double spaced

3.      That I must use spell check

4.      Follow the rules of grammar.

There are a few comical aspects to the outcome of my writing course experience:

Jakarta Post article archives from March, 2001 | AccessMyLibrary

1.      I signed up for the course after four years of being published as a weekly children’s health feature for the Jakarta post; “Dr. Donya’s Kid’s Health Corner” Donya would compose the article and I would rewrite them in layman terms and edit them to meet the Newspapers requirements. 

2.      I did not know that the letter I wrote to the Jakarta Post to get published was called a “query”

3.      After taking the course and having my writing critiqued I felt like I was paying to relive 7^th grade English; not a fun time for me.

All my attempts to write my great novel have been complete failures that are painful for even me to read.  I must confess, accepting I am not capable of writing a book worth reading is a tough lesson to learn and a hard fact to swallow. 

FMIP Ghost Writer Chuck

I stopped writing for quite awhile even stopped writing in my journal but one day a good friend who loves to banter suggested that we work together.  He told me I had something worth saying and that he would publish my blog.  My ego got the better of me and in the case of a “Fat Man in Paradise” history has written itself.   Chuck introduced FMIP 52 weeks ago and during this period we have written and published 78 blogs.

The Fat Man has an international readership from countries such as Chili, Brazil, Mexico, and the Philippines, USA, Germany, India, Canada and Indonesia. The top three blogs, year to date:

1.      “Why” posted in July 2011

2.      “I am so focused I do not see” Feb. 2012

3.      “Immortality isn’t easy” Jan 2012

13 yrs flys by popee age 9 mo's

When I share with others that I write a blog I am often times asked if I get paid for it or if I make money from it.  I have written around 60,000 words accumulated in blocks of 700 at a rate of one to two times per week for the last 52 weeks.   I feel proud, I feel accomplished and I feel exposed.  For me the blog is an open journal for public consumption. I write about the issues that I am dealing with in my quest to ideal mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and financial health and fitness.  The Blog is my therapy it allows me to focus on me and hear my body speak. Fat Man In Paradise brings balance to my life and I receive peace and calm from writing it.  To be honest the rewards I receive from exposing myself the way I have over the last year are better than any pay check I could imagine. 

I am only unique in who I am but not in the way I think or live. Writing is great medicine, journaling allows for complete honesty and honesty is a corner stone to success. let’s everyone make this coming year the year of truth;  if you are not keeping  journal begin and if you are continue to do so. Give yourself new material to write about and do something new and different each week even if it means traveling a different route to your neighborhood store, or going to a new market, reading a new book or breaking away from old habits.  You will know you are succeeding when you experience some discomfort from change. Just remember; change is good.

 Go have some fun.

Geo

verandering is goed

It is Fun Being Fat

153kg/336lb

The last six months has had me doing frequent long haul international travel unlike I have ever experienced before.  In Oct/Nov Donya and I went to the USA and I did my Great American Food Challenge. Feb/March had me in the south of India buying essential oils and arriving at my original travel destination from16 yrs ago; Mysore and Ooty.  I am writing this Blog from my hotel in Bangkok as I prepare to depart for the USA where I will explore the West Coast, East Coast, and Mid America. It is an understatement to say that travel has affected my fitness training schedule.

My boys with Tingyu

My journey to North America in November ended with a slight increase in weight; 2kg/4.4lb. I have proceeded to add another 8kg/17.6lb since then.  I am up 10kg/22lb, and feeling it; my clothes are stressing.  The increased girth is one issue and my goal weight is another; I am now 30kg/66lb away from my target weight.

I have been managing my weight and training for more than a decade and the one constant during all the process of weight control is gym time; training equals weight control for me. If I do not do the minutes the weight scale climbs consequently my erratic schedule has had me yo-yoing 1kg/2.2lb to 3kg/6.6lb with no continuous drops in more than 3 months. 

just passing through

I went through a short period of depression which affected my training; I was going through the motions but I was not present.  I did all my routines but none of them with zest or vigor and I was not getting results, my endurance was down; I could not do 60 minutes cardio and I was feeling defeated.  Then the inspirational sun began to shine and I was motivated and ready to rebuild my strength and endurance and reach a the 240 minute mark.

dark skies never last

The Other day I was on the elliptical machine pushing myself at a 1,000 calorie kill per hour burn rate. I was into my 180^th minute of pure cross training, dripping wet and feeling strong; my body was talking to me and I was proud to be back on track. I looked out the gyms window and noticed the sun shining bright on a group of tanned tourist as they strolled along the shore line; beer in hand and enjoying their holiday.  That’s when I heard a voice say: “It is fun to be fat” I had to smile and agree it is much more fun being fat then busting my ass in the gym and I realized I was talking to myself. 

climb the mountain

                                                       
Of course being fat is not fun. I hated the days when I woke every morning angry and with pain; in my back, knees and feet.  I never want to relive the time when I could not tie my shoes without sitting and could not move without being winded.   I cannot imagine how I would ever want to be fat again or believe that being fat is fun.

it is important to be flexible

I am a fatty, the same as an alcoholic is always an alcoholic and a drug addict is a druggy. I am always a binge away from morbid obesity.  The problem is my addictive personality, I do not enjoy fragments; I want it all.  My subconscious is my enemy it blocks out all the truths and negatives of being fat and romanticizes all the things that get me fat; drinking copious amounts beer, and over indulging in my favorite pastas and desserts. 

there is always a way to find a way to move

I am a fat man and if I want to be a fit, healthy and happy fatty I cannot be emotional about food.  I must make the smart choices; greens, reds and yellows before white. Broiled, boiled and baked or steamed before fried.  The truth is it is not too difficult to control my weight as long as I stay alert and rational about my eating behavior.  It is never fun being fat,  it is fun getting fat and it is 10 times more fun being a fit and healthy Fat Man in Paradise.

look at that smile

Go have some fun.

Geo 

   

Discovery Part ll

view from Coit tower in SFO

In part I of this topic I was delving into the importance of being true to one’s self and my effort to help my 8 yr old son develop an American Identity.

Oregon coast

Kennedy Space Center Fl.

Busch Garden

The issue for me was his mixed cultured and genetic makeup; multi heritage gene pool from me and Chinese genealogy from his mother.  The fact that he had never been to the USA was also a factor in my decision to think he would benefit from an extended visit in America.

Baseball

Busted

Friends

Welcome to America

In my mind Popee would experience a culture shock that would make him realize that being an American is more than having a passport.   Our first stop was in San Francisco where we booked a room near little Italy.  His first American bus ride ended up being a joke on me.  I felt like an apple in an egg crate but he felt right at home; China town boarders little Italy, the bus was full of people who looked just like him.

giant red wood slide eureka Ca.

Trail Ride

Jedi training

SFO cable car

Grand Canyon

Sadona Az

Rocky Mountain 4x4

American  truck

driving range Oklahoma

We based ourselves in the Colorado Rockies; Pagosa Springs for 30 days. We arrived just in time to celebrate the 4^th of July festivities with family and friends.  I wanted him to experience what in my opinion is the best America has to offer. During our stay he went four wheel driving, horseback riding, fishing and camping and roasted marsh mellows over an open fire and learned how to use a knife. He went to the public library, played golf with a new friend and enjoyed doing what kids do; play. 

popee with his sis, bro, niece and nephew

with bro Dom at Mt. Rushmore

Old Faithful

Elk Horn Arch way Jason Hole Wyo

Buffalo Yellowstone

Drive through tree N. Ca.

Expectation

That trip was meant to educate and help Popee understand that the United States of America is more than strip malls and fast food.  I expected him to feel out of place and like a foreigner. In the end my expectations were just that; all mine. Popee had no expectations, he was just being Popee.

Co. Rockies

Co. Back yard BBQ

His 1st walking stick

Playing with fire

Pitching his 1st tent

Red Ryder Rodeo Pagosa Co.

4th of July parade Pagosa Springs  Co.

Conclusion

I see the world in a completely different way than my son.  I am a child of the 50’s raised in mid America where a stranger was quickly recognized. Popee is a Bali baby from the island of Gods.  He has lived his entire life interacting with international tourist and residence.  I was raised in an environment where change came slow and life was predictable. Popee has been raised in flux, literally every day can bring unexpected change; the people who are corner stone’s of his childhood such as a caretaker, class mates and school teacher can and do disappear overnight without notice or warning.  The nature of living with tourists is one of change and Zen in the lesson that peace is in not having attachment.

                                                                  

                                                          Niagra Falls

My Discovery

What did I discover during my effort to help my son with his identity?  That he did not need my help.  Popee is quite happy being Popee and accepts himself as he is.  As for me I learned that where ever I go, there I am and where I am does not define who I am.  I learned more about myself and discovered that my emotional baggage travels with me. I realized that the road to peace and happiness is in finding the path that allows me to accept what was as the past and what is, is now.  My preconceived notions are mine and mine alone and I do not require others to validate my worth.  I was awaken to the value of family and good friends and experienced the peace and power of unconditional love and acceptance.

Change

D the boys and I will be making a move to the USA in the near future, I still have not chosen where we will base ourselves; quality education, weather, and family activities are my core requirements. Some of our friends are mystified by the uncertainty of our plan and I can understand why they have concerns.  I do not expect others to comprehend how simple it is for us to accept change because no one else has had the benefit of our children’s willingness to teach us that change is good.

Go have some fun,

Ready for more

Geo

Viva para hoje