Fat Man in Paradise FMP: Feeding the Beast

In order to work on commission it requires an optimistic mind set; focus on the possibilities rather than the present. The circumstances of being an independent, self generating income producer are often times feast or famine. The early years of my sales career were simple to define; success meant I ate and failure meant I starved. During the learning period, the journey was full of emotional peaks and valleys. It was during the low times that I learned the most about myself.

Me with Super Star Mr. C. Powell

I was young when it was not too late to turn back and get a wage paying job that offered the security commission sales lacked. I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I said that there were not many times I contemplated this choice. A straight job meant I could live the American dream I was raised to believe in; house, kids, pets and two weeks at the lake. My idea of living in a big house, with fancy cars and traveling around the world was beyond any guaranteed income I qualified for. I was at a cross road in life; give up on my dreams for the sake of security or pursue my ambitions and face the possibility of failure. I spent quite a bit of time broke and scratching to put two quarters together for a cup of coffee. The hook for me in sales has always been the law of averages; eventually someone will say yes.

McD. the definition of consistency

Success is in becoming a consistent producer, when the skill to produce regularly is present; predictability and stability are added to life’s equation. Missed opportunities that would allow a stable home life is what breaks most sales peoples will to stay in the business. I wanted the strength of reliability and realized that every lost opportunity was keeping me from triumph.

Fear of this being my best kept me hungry

Circumstance and environment are what brought my inner beast to life. I had a burning desire to succeed and a terrifying fear of failing. I wanted to eat and that meant that I had to hunt. I became a predator; if I was talking I was stalking. An Opportunist is in many ways similar to a psychopath; no one is safe or out of bounds. My beast transformed my persona and I became one dimensional; chase dollars and pursue pleasure.

Fear is a powerful motivator

I was primal; feeding for no reasons other than a burning desire to consume. I began eating myself to death and destroying all emotional bonds with the weak, my only comfort zone was alone or with other dysfunctional predators. I reached the point that no matter how much I obsessed; food, wine or women I could not find satisfaction. I was lost in addiction, I was imploding, self destructing and in dire need of change. Eventually money, bangles and toys all failed to provide me what I sought after most; peace. My soul remorse with sin and my heart ached to be free of guilt.

whiskey fuel for the beast

Exorcism came when I began exploring my inner thoughts, beliefs and childhood programs and in the process discovered what I believed to be my true self and feelings. The Opportunist I had become was the result of a negative self image and a lack of self-worth. My journey to Asia was a continuation of the exorcism; strange lands, unfamiliar surroundings and no money led to the ultimate discovery of my true value.

Nature calms my soul

I have a beast within; he is strong, cunning, ruthless and unforgiving. I cannot hate him fore he is me. I keep him pacified with love; for myself, family and friends and with music, white sand beaches, sunny days and warm sea breezes.

The purity of innocence pacifies me

The last two months of living on the road, watching late night TV and listening to shock jocks in the USA has also made me aware that my beast still lives. The unremitting commercial assault to my nerves has stimulated an unhealthy impulse to consume. The clamor has stimulated destructive behavior similar to my past that I in no way want a part of my future.

It is far better to give than to receive and the road to peace and happiness is found within, tune out commotion and tune in harmony.

Go have some fun,